The "Little" Reminders

This evening as I was thinking on the fact the my son just turned 18 my heart ached for my children to know and trust the Lord Jesus in an even greater way than I do.  My heart almost ached with this longing. It was then that I realized just how much my Father loves me and wants  me to know him and his Son Jesus and Holy Spirit. They want a relationship with each of us so much more than we do. We just get so busy in our own little worlds/circles of life that we  live in each day. We usually don't feel him reaching out to us so he sends problems and difficulties in hopes we reach up to him for help. And yet too often we chase after the world's answer to our need. Oh forgive us. I repent for my sins in not seeking you first every day and all day of each day of my life. It is a small thing in light of eternity with you to develop that time with you today and every day. We don't see how our day will work/how we can get every thing done we need to get done but God knows just how to do it and he will guide my every step if I will acknowledge him and allow him to direct those steps. He promised me that in his word and I know he will. He has done it before and wants to every day I say "yes God".  Oh wow what joy and hope!  How exciting a life we can have if we trust him to direct us. Show me your ways Lord and teach me your paths.  Just now he reminded to get my blood work done tomorrow. I had forgotten all about it but again as I seek to do his will and follow his path he directs mine. Thank you Daddy God. He is so good to me.

Walking out the cancer treatment road

This is my blog as my walk with my Lord Jesus Christ over the past several years.  Today I wish to catch you up to where I am at right now.  In 2009, I was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer.  I finished up treatment where they felt they had me free of cancer in 2010.  In 2011, I was diagnosed with re-occurrence of the cancer and it had metastasized.  I went on an oral chemotherapy drug that made me very ill as it caused me to get an infection of my colon two more times and I just kept getting weaker and weaker.  After 2 hospitalizations, I was put on a long term antibiotic treatment to keep from getting this infection again.  Now also, I am on iv chemo every 3 weeks.  Praise to God, he has just shown me step by step how to walk this out.  I have two teenagers who school at home so they are with me 24/7 as help when needed but if any of you have teenagers, you know the other side effects of having them with you all the time too.  In this too, God is guiding me as we walk this out. 

In 2009, Jesus gave me the scripture that he would walk through the valley of death with me.  That was a life line that kept me solid and I knew I would come out on the other side as the going through meant that to me.  This time I have felt like he is showing me that this is for His Glory.  I know His Grace is getting me through and as I praise Him every step, I believe He is glorified.  I know He guided me to start this blog so here we go as we together walk this time and season of my life here on this journey together.

Just two weeks ago, I was so tired of just barely doing anything and He spoke “life” to me.  I meditated and asked him what he was saying.  I perceive that he is saying that life in my soul and spirit and therefore in my flesh is the goal.  He is my life and I continue to pursue that with and through Him.  I don’t see this as a religious thing but a relationship thing.  It is as I spend time with him, as I would spend time with a good friend, whom we grow close and we share the things most precious to each of us.  He is so very concerned with every facet of our lives.  We tend to relegate those” big” things to ask God for his help with but he is there for even which toilet paper to buy at the store.  He loves us so much.  He wants to be a real person to each of us in each day we live here on this earth. I ask him daily what I am to do for His glory and he is so faithful to show me and then help me to do it. Over this time, my home has not stayed in order or the cleanliness I desire.  So last week, I talked to him about this and he said it was time to dust around my bed (deep clean).  I knew it would be a major for me but I got my vacuum out and swept through the middle of the rest of the apartment that morning with many breaks in between and then that afternoon in 1 hour’s time he helped me to deep clean around my bed.  He is a great God.  He has had me doing exercise (mind you it is not a lot but a start).  He has also been showing me small ways each day to bless my home by cleaning or in some way improving its state every day.  This is such a joy to me as I am just not able to do the big cleaning projects as I used to do due to my weak state.  Just having the strength to do any of this is such a big thing as I was so weak for months that just getting out of bed was a big thing.  Thank you God for all you are doing in my life!

 And as the name on this blog indicates it is my choice to say yes to God when he guides me to do something.  That is the second verse of this relationship.  Do we obey when he asks us to do it?  We always have a choice.